Death is a hard event that causes a lot of sadness. However, it is inevitable. We all suffer some loss at any time and –irremediably– someday we will die. Talking about the subject, understanding it and learning from it is a great help. But how and what can we learn from a subject that causes so much fear, isolation and silence? Exactly the opposite: we can learn to talk about death, not to fear it and also accompany those who face it in their pain.
One aspect that should be understood through experiences is that people deal with death in different ways, and none is incorrect or inappropriate; it is, simply, personal. The affected can cry, feel angry, isolate for a while and reject company.
Another lesson related to death is that grief is a process that takes time –about six months– and that it does not end once we return home from the cemetery or the funeral.
During this period it is also important to keep in contact with the family and friends, who are a valuable support, although many times the mourner just wants to be alone and in silence. This is another aspect we can learn when we are in contact with death as well as to respect the time of mourning of each person without excessive interventions or an avalanche of condolences for their loss. This will only intensify the pain of those who have lost a loved one and the fear of facing life again.
Crying does not mean weakness. It is another aspect that we learn when facing death. Crying brings the relief that helps to be at peace. People who don’t cry can experience physical consequences because they keep the pain inside, they don’t express it and their suffering doubles.
When facing the death of a loved one we can understand that life is too short to waste it being stuck in the past and that what we should do is try to enjoy what we like the most, share every moment with the family, give love and be grateful.