A large number of people in the world feel lonely. It may be because they live without another company in their home or because they have lost a loved one. In this case, it is important to give yourself permission to express the pain that causes the loss to get a closer contact with loneliness and allow others to help you cope with it. Acceptance is the first step to advance in the grieving process. By accepting what happened and understanding that the feelings that this generates are normal, we open the way to compassion for ourselves. Then, we can be compassionate with others in the same situation.
It is not about feeling sorry for you, but about facing the pain caused by death with hope. Humans are able to accompany others in their grief and give them affection and understanding. We do not apply it on ourselves when a loved one dies. Why not?
There is the possibility of analyzing death without obsessing with loneliness because the mourners are not alone. Relatives and friends around them can provide emotional support in such a sad and significant event. But it is vital to understand it, accept it and allow these people to bring help. At this stage it is essential to analyze the relationship with one’s pain: Do we accept it? Do we try to hide it or avoid it? Do we consider it normal or feel ashamed of it? Do we think that feeling pain is being weak? The answers to these questions are the key to process the feeling of loneliness that causes death.
Denying the pain, pretending that you are so strong as to endure grief without talking about what happened because “society imposes it” can delay the healing process, isolate the affected person and make her feel totally alone and abandoned. Opening up to the help of friends and family allows mourner to share the pain that causes death instead of keeping it locked up, because this generates anxiety and annuls the abilities of the sufferer. Sharing the pain allows ourselves to be helped, allows others to listen to us and to offer their company when facing death.