The pain for the loss of a loved one blurs our thinking, our memory. The only think we can remember before death is, perhaps, the face of our relative in bed, before dying, or his sadness and tears at the approach of death. These are overwhelming memories associated with the idea we have been abandoned by that person who belonged to us and who left us alone. But it’s not the truth.
Freeing ourselves from the negative charge that can triggers death implies much patience, perseverance and awareness. First, it is important to understand that the one who died did not belong to us, that he was our beloved relative and that he does not suffer anymore. This is important to let him go in peace. This attitude brings a second aspect, also important, in the form of the memories of happy moments we shared with the person who died, the jokes and lucky situations shared. These memories unleash gratitude and joy, two positive feelings in the grieving process.
Gratitude opens the doors to the acceptance of loss and to freedom. A third element that helps to get rid of selfishness before the death of a loved one is the recognition to his dedication, to everything he did to make us stay well. By doing so we value and honor his memory, we enhance his life and, moreover, we can understand that we are his great legacy.
The person who died worked so that we wouldn’t lack anything, to assure our happiness and health; so throwing all these years of his life through the window after his agony is inappropriate, unfair and unfortunate.
It is natural to feel pain, anger, loneliness before the death of a loved one. To help in the grieving process it is important to focus on the happy moments lived with the person who has passed away, in her teachings to live with courage and ethics, in her way of motivating us to go forward without fear and having big dreams to make them come true one day. Definitely, those who die never abandon us. They are always with us, in our hearts and memories, because we are their legacy.